Today I got an attitude adjustment, and it was just what I needed.
I was told by a male (married) co-worker friend today that I need to be less negative about the prospects of finding a guy. He's in his late 20's and has been married for a number of years and has zero concept of the online dating world. He was asking me a bunch of questions about it, and in an effort to try to explain it to him, I showed him my Yahoo! Personals profile and examples of some of the messages that have been sent to me.
As we read through them, he was the lucky recipient of my running commentary... to which he exclaimed, "Uh, that whole quiz on whether or not you are too picky was wrong. You are WAY too picky! You just look for all the negatives first.... you keep looking and pointing out all the reasons why these guys wouldn't work. THAT'S your first problem!"
Then when I mentioned, well what if I do like them and they think I'm fat?!!? He came back with, "You need to get over that! That's your second problem. Don't you think everyone on there is wondering or worrying that there is something that someone else isn't going to like about them, too?"
He continued with, "I realize you've been burned but you need to realize that you are an awesome catch and need to give yourself and these guys at least the chance of meeting once. What's the worst that could happen? Ok, so he could look at you and say,'You know, you're just a little too fat for me' and then leave and stick you with the bill. If that happened, you wouldn't die from it. And you never know, you just might have a good time."
I'm pretty optimistic in most areas of my life, but I honestly didn't realize how negative I had become about this whole thing. Thanks, Butch. I needed that attitude adjustment.
1 comment:
The imperfections aren't a problem once I've met the person. At that point, whether or not there is a physical spark and chemistry takes over. For me, I think the pessimism plays more of a role in the decision of whether or not to respond to an email and pursue conversation. I think that's the time that maybe I'm too picky. Once I've met someone, I tend to give more of a benefit of the doubt to the other person and am much more accepting. Maybe that's why I fell under the category of "not picky enough" on the quiz.
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