One of my all-time favorite movies is When Harry Met Sally. I think Billy Crystal's humor is hilarious. Rarely do I watch something he's in and NOT laugh.
But there is a question in the movie as to whether men and women can really just be friends. In the beginning of the movie, Sally says that men and women can in fact be "just friends," but Harry goes on and on about how it's just not possible because "sex" is always there.
Honestly, I think it's the rare exception, if ever, that it can happen. In my experience the only way it can really work is if neither is attracted to the other, nor wants anything more than friendship from the other. Thus removing the "sex" issue.
I've had one meaningful, truly platonic friendship with another single male. We didn't start out in a dating scenario. There was no attraction there... at least there wasn't on my part and I'm assuming that there wasn't any on his part. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but he told me that he knew from the very beginning that I was only interested in him as a friend. We talked about everything... and I mean EVERYTHING. I knew all about the dates he went on, etc. Neither of us was in a serious relationship during this time, so there was never a conflict with another woman. He was my best friend, and I learned a lot.
I also have tried being "friends" with people who I've dated or at least been on a date with, and it hasn't really worked. Sometimes I've been the one not interested in a romantic relationship with him and other times, he was the disinterested one.
But invariably it never works.
When one wants more, no matter how hard he or she tries to be "ok" with just being friends, it just never works. It invariably ends in resentment or hurt feelings for one and guilt and/or annoyance for the other.
3 comments:
Atlas, you made my point. The fact that your previous girlfriend is homosexual takes the whole "sex" possibility out of the equation.
Andy, you make a good point about the mindset. Looking back on the friendship I mentioned in the post, I do remember him saying that he knew I wasn't interested in him romantically in the beginning, so he just knew that it was not an option. I guess he was able to put it aside. I'm really glad he was able to because he was a true gift to me from God.
But do you think it's possible to just be friends with someone if both people are attracted to one another??
So aperture, are you saying you agree that men and women cannot be just friends or are you saying you get that that's what I'm saying? I wasn't sure from your comment.
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