Ok... I'm pissed off (sorry, Mom, I said the "p" word). Not at anyone in particular, just in general. I have spent the past two days fielding several "off blog" emails from people who have read what I've written and then taken it so personally. Hello... this blog was not written TO you nor ABOUT you. This was not some sort of backhanded, passive-agressive way to tell you something.
I was simply exploring a question in my mind about what I am attracted to and why I'm attracted to someone... should I try to change my idea of what's most important to me? what's essential and non-negotiable? The whole point of my blog in general has been to chronicle my personal journey through this year of dating... not to use it as a veil to hide behind when I want to address someone about something but am too afraid to tell them.
I've been taken to task on the fact that I said this man was "country," "simple," no college degree," "wasn't intellectual," etc. How could I be so insensitive because not everyone has the financial means to go to college! If you re-read my original blog, I said just because of those things does that mean he is not intelligent? I don't think so." Which means, I don't think this guy is un-intelligent. I just did NOT go into too many specifics. Besides... this is NOT a blog on whether or not there is a correlation with IQ and college attendance. It is a blog about my dating life, and therefore, what I'm attracted to.
I am posting my response to one such email because it best describes my thoughts on the whole matter.
"Look you are entitled to your opinion. I just don't happen to agree with it.
As a teacher (and one who teaches English and Reading), I place a very high value on education. I will not apologize for that. Not everyone needs or can afford to go to college. But I am typically attracted to intellectual men. That's just a fact. And typically intellectual men have gone to college. A blog never fully explores every facet of a situation, nor do I fully write every thought or feeling I have about the topic. So if you read it, you have to realize that it may appear very one dimensional. However, I am not.
I don't need to justify what I meant when I said 'hold my attention.' If you choose to believe, as 'anonymous' does, that I am shallow and condescending, then so be it. You must not know me very well. If you did, then you would know that there is so much more depth to how I feel.
Intellect is a big part of what attracts me to someone and holds that attraction. I know from experience that when that is not present, I'm not attracted for long.
I admire this man (the fireman) for his dedication and commitment to serving his community as a fireman. I think that is awesome and find it very sexy. I just need the other stuff, too."
3 comments:
Girl, I am not going to lie, I feel the same way as you. (and bring it on people who want to bitch at me for it).
I have held myself to a certain standard in life, i.e. bachelor degreee, MBA, etc. Higher education shows higher goals. Period. People who don't have it aren't bad people, but all I know is the man I marry will have a college degree.
tenacious1978.blogspot.com
Oh yeah atlas, I forgot that. To people who say they couldn't go to college cause they couldn't afford it I say, "Bullfuckingshit".
Just to clarify, this guy did attend a junior college, and for reasons I do not know of at this point, did not finish. It was assumed by a previous poster's comments that maybe he could not afford to go.
That was pure conjecture on this poster's part. I have no idea whether or not that's why he quit school. I do know that he was interested in going into Physical Therapy at the time.
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